I can't believe that it has been almost a month since I have been releasing my thoughts. Where does the time go? Doctors appointments, puzzles, guests, life! I was reading an article this a.m. about how to NOT write and it was filled with all kinds of thoughts & behaviors that I have exercised. Just do it. Anne Lamott says, "sit down and write a crappy first draft." That speaks to me about just sit down and start anywhere. I don't even have to have an idea. It will come just as this writing is happening. I have no preconceived idea of what to say many times. It is a risk but the risk pays off if I am willing to be vulnerable. There was another thought that I read this morning about how many writers create out of their sadness or struggle in life. I have to agree with that. My first book, an autobiography, Seasons of my Heart, Life is a Struggle but the payoff is worth it, began with the death of my mom when I was 14. My second book, Taking Off My God Hat is about my struggle with food. My editor once challenged me to write a fictional piece. I began it but it didn't make sense to me. I couldn't pursue it. Imagination is a weak link. I remember years ago when my husband and I were doing an exercise for a class asking us to put down our dreams. I felt so threatened. I asked him to go first to give me ideas. I thought of dreams as goals. I had a hard time separating them. If one was to dream that meant that I had to work at making it come true. The gift was being able to come up with 22 dreams and sharing them with each other. Some of them have been fulfilled much to my surprise. One particular dream was going on a weeks retreat in a foreign country. I thought that would be the coolest experience ever.
Several years ago when Don and I were planning a trip to Ireland a friend mentioned a place she had visited where she retreated. I later asked Don if he would be willing to spend a week in Glendolough, Ireland on retreat. At first he wasn't so sure of it but gave in knowing it was on my dream list. That is another reason why it is good to share your dream list with someone.
The priest, apartment, times in prayer and then being sent out to the mountain to commune with nature turned out to be the highlight of our time in Ireland. It has made me a believer in writing down my dreams and sharing them. This is a reminder for me to take out my list and read it to Don. What about you? Time to make a dream list and share it with someone?
Monday, April 22, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Free and Light Hearted
What a fabulous feeling to de-clutter! It seems so easy to continue to stockpile but I had a great opportunity to share stuff with others. We are having our first floor painted and decided it was time to do the closets too. Sooo, I began the process of thinning out pretending that we were moving into an apartment. As I began putting items away, I asked myself, "do we really need this?" We surrendered 1 pr. high powered binoculars, 2 sets of steak knives (we still have another), and a carving set. The great news is that one of our children wanted them. Then to Goodwill Don loaded his trunk with 1 Bean Crock pot,( the other one went to one of our children) 1 large soup kettle, 2 large frying pans, 5 glass platters, 2 cookie sheets, 1 Battery charger, 4 electrical cords, 1 ice crusher, 2 large glass bowls, 1 large plastic bowl, and two of Don's light weight jackets. Then today Don took a bag with knick knacks sitting on shelves, an extra set of cutting boards, 2 area rugs, a flannel shirt of Don's, and several picture frames. I called my sister last week and invited her to our make believe rummage sale. We had stuff all over the dining room table as Marie was painting in the Living Room. Before I began putting things back in the medicine closet I called the pharmacist and asked him about the dates on items. 6mos. after the suggested use by date, he said the medicine is still okay but begins to lose it's potency, so I thought to myself, why keep it? YEAH! During this time I had the joy of going to the Container Store to get a few items to better view the boxes. Organization! I love it. The frosting on the cake was the generosity of Don as he had three bags for books to be given to family and friends. His shelves look so breathable. We now have a new look on the first floor, (the family room will be painted in April or May when the bricks are warmer) and less STUFF. Thank you God for Spring cleaning. Does anyone else still do that? mjk
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Blog Compulsion
I just came downstairs to do some art work and got side tracked posting our latest ushering which we are slowly doing again. We saw a well-done play at our local community college, called
A Night in Provence. Two couples (with a guest couple) double booked a villa in France and the hanky-panky that went on. Light entertainment, well casted. And here I am digressing also.
As I was cleaning up my sticky notes here by the computer I came across some notes re: compulsion.
I have wrestled with sugar addiction for years. A while ago in prayer I played with that word:
Com / pul / sion. Come within
pul Pulse, take a reading
sion shun the destruction, attachment, ropeing me, pulling me away.
Compulsion: wanting attention, wanting love.
How can compulsion help to love me?
I can befriend my compulsion by using the temptation at the moment to ask self:
WHAT DO I REALLY NEED? prayer, sleep, water, tea, phone call, writing.
Compulsion is an external behavior from an interior call.
A call wanting attention, needing an internal love.
Compulsions are substitues for God's love. The other day I read that the real gift of a compulsion when I resist, is the growing closer in my relationship with God.
Anyone out there have any thoughts on this? mjk
A Night in Provence. Two couples (with a guest couple) double booked a villa in France and the hanky-panky that went on. Light entertainment, well casted. And here I am digressing also.
As I was cleaning up my sticky notes here by the computer I came across some notes re: compulsion.
I have wrestled with sugar addiction for years. A while ago in prayer I played with that word:
Com / pul / sion. Come within
pul Pulse, take a reading
sion shun the destruction, attachment, ropeing me, pulling me away.
Compulsion: wanting attention, wanting love.
How can compulsion help to love me?
I can befriend my compulsion by using the temptation at the moment to ask self:
WHAT DO I REALLY NEED? prayer, sleep, water, tea, phone call, writing.
Compulsion is an external behavior from an interior call.
A call wanting attention, needing an internal love.
Compulsions are substitues for God's love. The other day I read that the real gift of a compulsion when I resist, is the growing closer in my relationship with God.
Anyone out there have any thoughts on this? mjk
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Blog Color choices
I am going nuts picking out new colors for our first floor rooms, actually just for the living room and dining room first. After meeting with the painter helping me make some selections I then went to the paint store to get some more ideas and samples so I could put them on the walls. M. came back with 4 10x12 painted samples. I thought I was fine with the saybrook sage but after the painter painted a 10x12 poster board, I placed it in the living room this past day and it looks too dark. I love the contrast with the yellow, no, that's not true. The yellow looks murky, and the green is too dark. I wonder if other people go through this painstaking task. I came down here and was able to get the color in a 4x6 inch size on the computer but now I think the lighting down here is throwing me off. Issue being I don't like having to go back to the painter asking her to paint up a couple more samples. I know she wants me satisfied but I don't like this wishy-washyness, this indecision. That's what it is all about. Indecision. Usually I make up my mind quickly about a situation but this has been labor intensive. Help! Tonight I chose three more greens and called her and now I am second guessing myself, thinking they are too green-green. Woe is me! It's late. I think I ought to just go to bed.
"The sun will come out tomorrow," sings Annie. mjk
"The sun will come out tomorrow," sings Annie. mjk
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Blog Puzzle Fun Together.
I can't believe that it is a week since I have sat down here. I had a thought yesterday of what I wanted to blog about but I can't think of it right now. Oh well. I will let the spirit lead.
You all know how much I love to work puzzles. On January 19 I wrote about getting one at Morton Arboretum, selecting one that is a concentrated picture of spring flowers. Since we both love puzzles I thought it would be a great winter get together for B & I. Well, we began weeks ago, not working on it every night but many nights. I can't believe we are still working on this 1000 piece puzzle. Thinking we would finish it last night we both commented, that it is the hardest puzzle that we have ever done and we have assembled a lot of them together. It is a concentrated picture of spring blooming flowers, which we both love, with just a few stems. What makes it challenging is that the colors are redundant through out the puzzle. I said to B. "Did you ever realize that there are so flowers? Can you name them all?" She laughed but didn't answer me. What fun but it is getting a little tedious. I can't believe that I am saying this. As we near the end, (hopefully tonight) it reminds me of a collage of a flower catalogue without print. And so goes winter life of a puzzle lover and her lovely neighbor. mjk
You all know how much I love to work puzzles. On January 19 I wrote about getting one at Morton Arboretum, selecting one that is a concentrated picture of spring flowers. Since we both love puzzles I thought it would be a great winter get together for B & I. Well, we began weeks ago, not working on it every night but many nights. I can't believe we are still working on this 1000 piece puzzle. Thinking we would finish it last night we both commented, that it is the hardest puzzle that we have ever done and we have assembled a lot of them together. It is a concentrated picture of spring blooming flowers, which we both love, with just a few stems. What makes it challenging is that the colors are redundant through out the puzzle. I said to B. "Did you ever realize that there are so flowers? Can you name them all?" She laughed but didn't answer me. What fun but it is getting a little tedious. I can't believe that I am saying this. As we near the end, (hopefully tonight) it reminds me of a collage of a flower catalogue without print. And so goes winter life of a puzzle lover and her lovely neighbor. mjk
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Blog I love Libraries
I was thinking of my history with libraries the other night when I couldn't sleep. How far back does it go? Childhood. I remember walking to the library by myself. What a reality moment. I just mapquested how far I had walked each week thinking it was at least 15-20 minutes. The library is only a half mile away from my old house and they figure 11 minutes walking. Oh those memories! Maybe it did take me 20 minutes; 8 year old legs, pulling barberry leaves off the bushes as I sauntered along to form little maroon roses. And of course the other wonder is did I really as an 8 year old go without an adult? I am sure I did for "those days" 1/2 mile was nothing. I remember carrying large picture books and then later as I got older the Bobbsey Twins series. My own first library card was a treasure. I felt so adult when I handed it over to the lady as my head barely met the top of the counter. And so my love affair with books and the library began early.
For a number of years I had been delivering books to the homebound as a volunteer every two weeks until my hip started really acting up 5 months ago. Another gentlemen began to share the visits giving us each once a month joy. Two months ago I had to let go of it all together and missed being with the cheerful people at our LaGrangePark Library. When I would pop in to pick up my books, folks would ask how I was doing and their caring reminded me of what a great enviroment I was missing. After talking with several ladies who organize the volunteers I decided on an in-house job where I wouldn't have to be hauling heavy bags of books and getting in and out of my car which was quite painful.
Once a week for 1 and 1/2 hours I am now replacing broken cd containers, a behind the scenes job that I never gave any thought to when taking out a cd. I am amazed at the number of cases that need replacing. For the past two weeks I have cleaned by machine some cd's that were scratched, and relabeled about 40 cd cases. I do love learning but can't say that I jump into experiences readily. It takes a forced situation for me. This is a case where my present infirmity is gifting me and I am grateful to be of help for others. When is the last time you were in your library? mjk
For a number of years I had been delivering books to the homebound as a volunteer every two weeks until my hip started really acting up 5 months ago. Another gentlemen began to share the visits giving us each once a month joy. Two months ago I had to let go of it all together and missed being with the cheerful people at our LaGrangePark Library. When I would pop in to pick up my books, folks would ask how I was doing and their caring reminded me of what a great enviroment I was missing. After talking with several ladies who organize the volunteers I decided on an in-house job where I wouldn't have to be hauling heavy bags of books and getting in and out of my car which was quite painful.
Once a week for 1 and 1/2 hours I am now replacing broken cd containers, a behind the scenes job that I never gave any thought to when taking out a cd. I am amazed at the number of cases that need replacing. For the past two weeks I have cleaned by machine some cd's that were scratched, and relabeled about 40 cd cases. I do love learning but can't say that I jump into experiences readily. It takes a forced situation for me. This is a case where my present infirmity is gifting me and I am grateful to be of help for others. When is the last time you were in your library? mjk
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Blog Good Morning
I just came downstairs to my computer to read our grandson's blog while he is studying & traveling in Rome for 4 months. Being an up to date, modern youth, he had fabulous pictures with some captions, and narration of his weekend visit to Florence as well as other spots. It is exciting to follow his experience and also to be able to respond. I love being a part of his adventure. Don and I were there many years ago and it is reminding me of some of our sights like seeing the famous "David". Knowing how expanding it is to travel I am glad he took advantage of this opportunity. That's it for the moment. "Ciao" mjk
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Blog Abandonment Feeling
I was talking with a friend this a.m. and I heard myself say to her, "Philip has fired me." I laughed and said, "not really but..." With that she asked if she could call me back, she was checking out of a grocery store. During those interim moments I sat with what I had just said to her. It sounded so strong. "What feelings are beneath this,?" I asked myself. What do I feel? Who has he been for me?
I have felt supported by him, going through this 4 month manual physical therapy with him, along with 2 MRI's a Ct Scan, and X-Rays. He has helped me enormously by listening, teaching me, and giving me input as well as stretches to strengthen my left leg which lost mobility as a result of my left hip arthritis and pain. He recommended a Cortisone shot which I had done 2 weeks ago. It has given me 50% pain relief for which I am most grateful. So yesterday when I saw him he said, "Okay, this is my assessment. You are at a point where the ball is in your court (he knows I love tennis). There isn't much I can do anymore. You are the one now that will have to do the work, continued stretches, treadmill, and icing 3x day. I still want to see you once a week for a couple weeks just to check on your progress but what I would have you do here, you can do at home or at the gym. I knew this day would come but I didn't expect the feelings to be so strong,
As I sat waiting for my friend to call back, I asked myself what feelings I was experiencing. I knew I felt supported by him so I thought since I won't see him I don't feel supported. "That's not true," I said to myself. I can call him at anytime and he will be there. What is it? Abandonment feeling came to the surface immediately. It was right there and with tears. When I was 14 my mom died and I felt abandoned. That seems to be a core feeling that comes up periodically. So I sat with the feeling, letting the tears come and then thought about my slight runny nose I developed an hour after I left his new office. I thought it might have been a chemical reaction which I sometimes have to new carpeting and paint. So I took an allergy pill. My nose continued to run the rest of the night until this a.m.
After I talked with my friend for the second time, she affirmed my feelings (she knows my history). I then mentioned the runny nose and suggested maybe it is from grieving this change. She also is a great listener and thought it was possible.
Our conversation was 3 hours ago and I am delighted to say my nose is no longer running and I am grateful for getting to the bottom of this feeling and the willingness to sit and acknowledge it during my prayer time, as well as write about it now. I use to be ashamed to share my feelings. Growth can be most freeing. I know that God is always with me but there are times that I need "God with skin on." And so I say, thank you God for all the people you put in my path who love me and encourage me to let my light shine. mjk
I have felt supported by him, going through this 4 month manual physical therapy with him, along with 2 MRI's a Ct Scan, and X-Rays. He has helped me enormously by listening, teaching me, and giving me input as well as stretches to strengthen my left leg which lost mobility as a result of my left hip arthritis and pain. He recommended a Cortisone shot which I had done 2 weeks ago. It has given me 50% pain relief for which I am most grateful. So yesterday when I saw him he said, "Okay, this is my assessment. You are at a point where the ball is in your court (he knows I love tennis). There isn't much I can do anymore. You are the one now that will have to do the work, continued stretches, treadmill, and icing 3x day. I still want to see you once a week for a couple weeks just to check on your progress but what I would have you do here, you can do at home or at the gym. I knew this day would come but I didn't expect the feelings to be so strong,
As I sat waiting for my friend to call back, I asked myself what feelings I was experiencing. I knew I felt supported by him so I thought since I won't see him I don't feel supported. "That's not true," I said to myself. I can call him at anytime and he will be there. What is it? Abandonment feeling came to the surface immediately. It was right there and with tears. When I was 14 my mom died and I felt abandoned. That seems to be a core feeling that comes up periodically. So I sat with the feeling, letting the tears come and then thought about my slight runny nose I developed an hour after I left his new office. I thought it might have been a chemical reaction which I sometimes have to new carpeting and paint. So I took an allergy pill. My nose continued to run the rest of the night until this a.m.
After I talked with my friend for the second time, she affirmed my feelings (she knows my history). I then mentioned the runny nose and suggested maybe it is from grieving this change. She also is a great listener and thought it was possible.
Our conversation was 3 hours ago and I am delighted to say my nose is no longer running and I am grateful for getting to the bottom of this feeling and the willingness to sit and acknowledge it during my prayer time, as well as write about it now. I use to be ashamed to share my feelings. Growth can be most freeing. I know that God is always with me but there are times that I need "God with skin on." And so I say, thank you God for all the people you put in my path who love me and encourage me to let my light shine. mjk
Monday, January 21, 2013
Blog Great Hospitality
Don and I love to go to Blueberry Hill Restaurant on Sunday morning. If we get there at 8:30 a.m. we can usually get right in but 8:45 a.m. the churches in the area end their service and the restaurant begins to fill up, but the staff works quickly and efficiently with a smile, an example taken from the owners. Along with the friendliness, what we love about the restaurant is of course their GREAT food for our taste beginning with Don's weekly favorite: PUMPKIN PANCAKES with a side of cream cheese sauce and of course it wouldn't be a complete breakfast without his side of fresh strawberries and bottomless cups of coffee which they are most attentive to serving. (Don doesn't drink coffee at home. Sometimes I tease him commenting that I think he orders coffee so he can have the variety of flavored creams which he so loves). Me: I usually have an egg whites Veggie omlette, or veggie skillet but this week I ordered a seafood egg whites omlette. Next week I will go back to my veggie order. Another bonus of eating there is the gift of having half of my breakfast the next day. Their portions are huge!
But I am digressing. What caught my attention this week while I was waiting for our order was Chris, one of the owners, walking around holding this darling one year old baby girl (I overheard her age). Chris may be in his 40's. He and his wife Denise are the epitome of friendliness. Always a smile on their faces. The regulars are greeted by him with a kiss on the cheek for the women and a hand shake for the men. The new people are greeted with his wide smile and question of "how many?" Keep in mind Sunday morning is one of their busiest times so they also have a male cousin and two young girls working the reservations and seating. During lulls, when Chris isn't helping with the seating he goes around and talks to people at the tables. I also overheard Chris say that the mother couldn't eat and hold her baby at the same time so Chris came to the rescue. He amazes me with his friendliness. He was holding that little one so tenderly. At Mass the night before Father was talking about using our gifts. As I watched Chris and later his wife greet, welcome and invite everyone into their restaurant it was like they were welcoming us into their home. What a wonderful example for me as I think of our parish and the new ministry of greeters. I also want to be as genuine and warm. What gift of joy do YOU bring to others? mjk
But I am digressing. What caught my attention this week while I was waiting for our order was Chris, one of the owners, walking around holding this darling one year old baby girl (I overheard her age). Chris may be in his 40's. He and his wife Denise are the epitome of friendliness. Always a smile on their faces. The regulars are greeted by him with a kiss on the cheek for the women and a hand shake for the men. The new people are greeted with his wide smile and question of "how many?" Keep in mind Sunday morning is one of their busiest times so they also have a male cousin and two young girls working the reservations and seating. During lulls, when Chris isn't helping with the seating he goes around and talks to people at the tables. I also overheard Chris say that the mother couldn't eat and hold her baby at the same time so Chris came to the rescue. He amazes me with his friendliness. He was holding that little one so tenderly. At Mass the night before Father was talking about using our gifts. As I watched Chris and later his wife greet, welcome and invite everyone into their restaurant it was like they were welcoming us into their home. What a wonderful example for me as I think of our parish and the new ministry of greeters. I also want to be as genuine and warm. What gift of joy do YOU bring to others? mjk
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Blog Admitting to another compulsion!
We went to one of my favorite places last week, Morton Arboretum. The second favorite place is their gift shop. Now I am not a shopper unless I need something but everytime we go to the Arboretum I am compelled to wander thru their treasures. It is like an artist date for me. I love the creative way they have everything displayed as well as the selections. Their prices are a litttle...bit high but every once in a while I am willing to part with my carefully guarded coins for a good cause.
I admit to a huge weakness for working jigsaw puzzles. This love was unearthed in my being as a young person when the day after Thanksgiving or it may even have been thanksgiving night, as a family we would bring out a puzzle and collectively work it. I don't remember who sat there with me other than it was a great way to recreate the picture on the box, piece by piece and have conversation. I use to go to Ben Franklin's 5&10c store (anyone remember that name?) and get some inexpensive ones, 250, 300 pieces eventually working up to 500. 500 pieces! I thought that was an incredible accomplishment. Years later and I mean years... for I was too busy with babies, word got out about my childhood love of puzzles and people would give them to me as gifts. After I received a Springbok puzzle I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I love them for their vivid colors as well as for the strength of the pieces.
Eventully, after our basement was paneled, I use to work them, glue them and then hang them in our spacious basement. As I walked down to do the laundry in our basement, a smile would spread across my face as I looked at the colorful pictures which reminded me of an art collection. It has been probably 20 years when I took them down so I can't remember what they all were other than a gumball machine containing colorful jawbreaker bubble gum, and an astronaut and his space vehicle. Later began the shaped puzzles. Round! There was a fabulous green background with a variety of wild mushrooms, another was a mouth watering pizza picture; wow the memory is kicking in, and even a three D castle. And now to the present time, a few years ago my most accomplished one is a butterfly shaped puzzle of butterflies in a garden. It is fabulous. After gluing it I had it mounted and it is hanging in one of the bedrooms upstairs.
I have been known to state, "the greatest job for me would be to be paid to work a puzzle." I can get lost in the process as well as compulsively staying up later than is healthy. After working two or three hours, there will be times I say to myself, "okay, when I find this piece I will quit!" After finding the piece sometimes I will go to bed and yes, I confess there are times I will not honor my statement and continue for another half hour. I love having a puzzle in process to come to when I can't sleep. There is nothing as satisfying as coming downstairs (to our newly finished basement after water damage) and being greeted by an array of puzzle pieces that need help finding their home.
My justification (why I need that I don't know) in buying them now is that I am beginning to share them with others. YEAH! Can you believe this blog began as a result of me opening up a new puzzle 30 minutes ago that I purchased from the Arboretum last week. 1000 pcs. of repetitive, colorful spring flowers. I may have to call my wonderful, older, English neighbor who also loves puzzles and flowers. Anyone else want to join us? mjk
I admit to a huge weakness for working jigsaw puzzles. This love was unearthed in my being as a young person when the day after Thanksgiving or it may even have been thanksgiving night, as a family we would bring out a puzzle and collectively work it. I don't remember who sat there with me other than it was a great way to recreate the picture on the box, piece by piece and have conversation. I use to go to Ben Franklin's 5&10c store (anyone remember that name?) and get some inexpensive ones, 250, 300 pieces eventually working up to 500. 500 pieces! I thought that was an incredible accomplishment. Years later and I mean years... for I was too busy with babies, word got out about my childhood love of puzzles and people would give them to me as gifts. After I received a Springbok puzzle I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I love them for their vivid colors as well as for the strength of the pieces.
Eventully, after our basement was paneled, I use to work them, glue them and then hang them in our spacious basement. As I walked down to do the laundry in our basement, a smile would spread across my face as I looked at the colorful pictures which reminded me of an art collection. It has been probably 20 years when I took them down so I can't remember what they all were other than a gumball machine containing colorful jawbreaker bubble gum, and an astronaut and his space vehicle. Later began the shaped puzzles. Round! There was a fabulous green background with a variety of wild mushrooms, another was a mouth watering pizza picture; wow the memory is kicking in, and even a three D castle. And now to the present time, a few years ago my most accomplished one is a butterfly shaped puzzle of butterflies in a garden. It is fabulous. After gluing it I had it mounted and it is hanging in one of the bedrooms upstairs.
I have been known to state, "the greatest job for me would be to be paid to work a puzzle." I can get lost in the process as well as compulsively staying up later than is healthy. After working two or three hours, there will be times I say to myself, "okay, when I find this piece I will quit!" After finding the piece sometimes I will go to bed and yes, I confess there are times I will not honor my statement and continue for another half hour. I love having a puzzle in process to come to when I can't sleep. There is nothing as satisfying as coming downstairs (to our newly finished basement after water damage) and being greeted by an array of puzzle pieces that need help finding their home.
My justification (why I need that I don't know) in buying them now is that I am beginning to share them with others. YEAH! Can you believe this blog began as a result of me opening up a new puzzle 30 minutes ago that I purchased from the Arboretum last week. 1000 pcs. of repetitive, colorful spring flowers. I may have to call my wonderful, older, English neighbor who also loves puzzles and flowers. Anyone else want to join us? mjk
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Blog Joy
What to write? I am feeling a haze over my eyes. Wonder upon wonder. My compulsive nature kicked in again last night as I decided to stay up til 2:30 a.m. to read still THE SHOEMAKER'S WIFE. 470 some pages and 100 to go yet. It is so well written, very descriptive though. What am I getting out of it beside sleeplessness? Great entertainment, wondering what will happen next in this love story of Italian immigration to America.
Just talked with Trafford Publishing who is marketing my new book, TAKING OFF MY GOD HAT.
It is a 25 year compilation of scripture verses I highlighted during my prayer time that spoke to me regarding my compulsive eating. The insight I gleaned during the writing was God's unconditional love for me. I didn't have to earn it. I hope to send out a mass email informing people of it's availability on Amazon and Barnes and Noble in the next week. There is a glitch with my website at the moment.
What else? JOY! That was the message two days ago in my Unity magazine. The challenge was to respond to people when they ask you, "how are you?" with..."I feel joyful". I tried it at the Pain Clinic as I was doing a one week follow up after a left hip cortisone shot. At first I replied I feel "great" and then corrected myself by saying, I feel Joyful! "Really" the receptionist questioned. "Yes, I feel joyful." Her co-worker responded with, "that is so nice to hear". "We seldom hear upbeat responses." It put a smile on my face and joy in my heart. I want to remember to respond that way more often. I not only brought joy to others as well as reminding myself of joy. What is your uplifting word today? mjk
Just talked with Trafford Publishing who is marketing my new book, TAKING OFF MY GOD HAT.
It is a 25 year compilation of scripture verses I highlighted during my prayer time that spoke to me regarding my compulsive eating. The insight I gleaned during the writing was God's unconditional love for me. I didn't have to earn it. I hope to send out a mass email informing people of it's availability on Amazon and Barnes and Noble in the next week. There is a glitch with my website at the moment.
What else? JOY! That was the message two days ago in my Unity magazine. The challenge was to respond to people when they ask you, "how are you?" with..."I feel joyful". I tried it at the Pain Clinic as I was doing a one week follow up after a left hip cortisone shot. At first I replied I feel "great" and then corrected myself by saying, I feel Joyful! "Really" the receptionist questioned. "Yes, I feel joyful." Her co-worker responded with, "that is so nice to hear". "We seldom hear upbeat responses." It put a smile on my face and joy in my heart. I want to remember to respond that way more often. I not only brought joy to others as well as reminding myself of joy. What is your uplifting word today? mjk
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Blog Orphaned and loved
I was sitting at dinner and asking my husband what I ought to blog tonight. I ought to know that something would come as soon as I sat down here at the computer. Finally, I am accepting the fact that I have many words to express. I used to think of myself as not having much to say. It seems the more I say the more is coming. I am absorbed in, THE SHOEMAKER'S WIFE, by Adriana Trigiani, a 470 page read for my Curves February Book Club. My laziness kept me from noting on a paper two expressions that she wrote but later when I read,"orphans have many parents," it resonated with me enough to get off the couch and write it down to share with my book group.
My mother died when I was 14, a time when I felt orphaned missing my mom. I felt abandoned. I went about my life fully as if nothing had happened. I acknowledged her death mentally but there was very little conversation and certainly no feelings. It took 20 years before my pain surfaced and was processed with the help of a therapist and my loving husband. It was like I had taken those feelings and put them in a very thick, steel vault, thrown away the key and no one could touch me.
50 years later, one day a friend mentioned what a groupee I was! I had not thought of myself that way. It caused me to stop and ponder all the groups that I belonged to, which then led to my discovery of all the women in my life who have nurtured me. I do belong to many women's groups and today I can see the blessings, nurturing and love that so many have given me. Have I subconsciously been seeking the "mother" I didn't have? It doesn't matter. I am loved! mjk
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Blog People who challenge me.
It has been a quiet day. Met with my good friend of many years for two hours sharing our weeks experience in where and how we found God. I am in the process of recording my underlined thoughts from the book No Ordinary Time by Jan Phillips. I love her writings as she challenges me and reminds me of the goodness in life. It took me a year to read a section or page each day since there was so much for me to absorb. One excerpt was: How am I to know what I am here to do? Just be who you are, the doing will get done...How can I remember I am of the light when there's hunger and hardship all around? Take the hand of everyone your're walking with and the love you feel will spread that light around. Pg. 22
When you think of the people who have inspired you, changed your thinking, altered the course of your life, are they not the ones who spoke and lived from the heart? Pg 23.
This last question was a great question for me to ponder thinking of the people who have loved and challenged me. What about people in your life? Who comes to your mind? My next step is to let them know how they have touched me and thank them. mjk
When you think of the people who have inspired you, changed your thinking, altered the course of your life, are they not the ones who spoke and lived from the heart? Pg 23.
This last question was a great question for me to ponder thinking of the people who have loved and challenged me. What about people in your life? Who comes to your mind? My next step is to let them know how they have touched me and thank them. mjk
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Scared or be scared
Life with the needle!
Life can be so entertaining when I pay attention to the moments. Went in for my dreaded but necessary left hip cortisone shot 9:00 a.m today. I have never had one before. I don't like needles, surgery or medicine unless it is the last resort! After exhausting the professionals, (4 physical therapists, including our daughter, 2 Chiropractors, a Physiatrist, (muscle and nerve doctor), healing touch, of course massage, acupuncture, family doctor, ortho surgeon and specialist physical trainer, I was directed to an MRI of spine, CT scan of kidneys (which resulted in over 50 welts from contrast dye, opti-ray), X-ray of hip and finally MRI of left hip. Consensus was to have a cortisone injection. All this began November 30, 2011.
Because many people were praying for me I felt calm, a little concerned with the unknown and I thought peaceful. As I was being prepared for the local, my blood pressure showed 177/110. "Are you on any meds for high blood pressure?" the nurse asked. "No, I don't have high blood pressure,"
I said. I looked at the screen and was most surprised. After taking it three times, changing arms and bands, the numbers remained the same.
In the surgical room the assistant confirmed the procedure of numbing me with an injection and then the best of the best, highly regarded for his technique doctor would do the injection into the hip pocket. You might only feel a little twinge when we put in the needles.
The doctor came in, introduced himself (first time I met him, his staff does all the prep including evaluation appointments, I was one of 23 that day) and asked if I had any questions. I mentioned since he hadn't seen me I was concerned whether he knew my condition. He said he had the report. Next thing I know, the assistant on my right side said, "you will feel a little twinge now," which I did, then the nurse directed my attention to the screen on the left side that reflected my hip bone and socket and showed the liquid filling the cavity. "Can you see it?" she asked. Yes, I could. As fast as a minute or two the assistant said, "you are done" "What?" I said. "When is Dr. Jain doing the injection?" "That is what you were watching," he laughed. I couldn't believe that it was over that fast and I never saw the doctor doing his thing. As the two nurses wheeled me out, they asked if I didn't feel it. I told them I felt a little discomfort but thought it was the numbing shot. "You are tough," they both said. "No, I don't think of myself as tough when it comes to medicine. "Yes, you are, they both laughed. Believe it as so." And so, I guess I need to think of myself as tough and not chicken! Another moment of wonder. Whew, I am glad it is over. Oh, I forgot the punch line. They took my blood pressure when I came out and again it was high, 166/103. I couldn't believe it since last month at the doctors it was fine. Again they took it three times. It came down to 155/103. The nurse strongly suggested that I make an appointment with my doctor. This isn't good she said. 11:00a.m. at home I went into the bathroom and didn't like the lack of color in my face. I was concerned. Thought it was from the shot and decided to go to the drug store tonight to take my blood pressure. Guess what? It is 122/76. Here I am very relieved. Along with the emotional pain, the physical pain is better and I am told I will have to wait a week or so for the final results of whether it works. That is what this whole situation that began with sciatica a year ago is all about....waiting and patience. Sure has been a teacher! And I am tough, not a chicken! mjk
Life can be so entertaining when I pay attention to the moments. Went in for my dreaded but necessary left hip cortisone shot 9:00 a.m today. I have never had one before. I don't like needles, surgery or medicine unless it is the last resort! After exhausting the professionals, (4 physical therapists, including our daughter, 2 Chiropractors, a Physiatrist, (muscle and nerve doctor), healing touch, of course massage, acupuncture, family doctor, ortho surgeon and specialist physical trainer, I was directed to an MRI of spine, CT scan of kidneys (which resulted in over 50 welts from contrast dye, opti-ray), X-ray of hip and finally MRI of left hip. Consensus was to have a cortisone injection. All this began November 30, 2011.
Because many people were praying for me I felt calm, a little concerned with the unknown and I thought peaceful. As I was being prepared for the local, my blood pressure showed 177/110. "Are you on any meds for high blood pressure?" the nurse asked. "No, I don't have high blood pressure,"
I said. I looked at the screen and was most surprised. After taking it three times, changing arms and bands, the numbers remained the same.
In the surgical room the assistant confirmed the procedure of numbing me with an injection and then the best of the best, highly regarded for his technique doctor would do the injection into the hip pocket. You might only feel a little twinge when we put in the needles.
The doctor came in, introduced himself (first time I met him, his staff does all the prep including evaluation appointments, I was one of 23 that day) and asked if I had any questions. I mentioned since he hadn't seen me I was concerned whether he knew my condition. He said he had the report. Next thing I know, the assistant on my right side said, "you will feel a little twinge now," which I did, then the nurse directed my attention to the screen on the left side that reflected my hip bone and socket and showed the liquid filling the cavity. "Can you see it?" she asked. Yes, I could. As fast as a minute or two the assistant said, "you are done" "What?" I said. "When is Dr. Jain doing the injection?" "That is what you were watching," he laughed. I couldn't believe that it was over that fast and I never saw the doctor doing his thing. As the two nurses wheeled me out, they asked if I didn't feel it. I told them I felt a little discomfort but thought it was the numbing shot. "You are tough," they both said. "No, I don't think of myself as tough when it comes to medicine. "Yes, you are, they both laughed. Believe it as so." And so, I guess I need to think of myself as tough and not chicken! Another moment of wonder. Whew, I am glad it is over. Oh, I forgot the punch line. They took my blood pressure when I came out and again it was high, 166/103. I couldn't believe it since last month at the doctors it was fine. Again they took it three times. It came down to 155/103. The nurse strongly suggested that I make an appointment with my doctor. This isn't good she said. 11:00a.m. at home I went into the bathroom and didn't like the lack of color in my face. I was concerned. Thought it was from the shot and decided to go to the drug store tonight to take my blood pressure. Guess what? It is 122/76. Here I am very relieved. Along with the emotional pain, the physical pain is better and I am told I will have to wait a week or so for the final results of whether it works. That is what this whole situation that began with sciatica a year ago is all about....waiting and patience. Sure has been a teacher! And I am tough, not a chicken! mjk
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Perseverance and Inspiration
Hi everyone, this blogging sure is a puzzle and since I love jigsaw puzzles I am persevering. It took me 1/2 hour to figure out how to send another post. For some reason I couldn't do it from our Windows computer upstairs. I have a MAC. And here I am.
Mary, our 10 year old granddaughter called and said that she read my blog about "humor" the duplicate blender. I told her she ought to blog. She said I have nothing to blog about and I heard her dad in the background say...what about your girl scout meeting today. So Mary said first she wanted to respond to my message and then maybe tomorrow after she gets her homework done she will set up a site with her dad's help. Maybe we can have a gramdfather Jane/ grandson Mary blog conversation. Get it Mary? She and her brother called the other night and got confused in saying goodnight to us and we all got a great laugh out of it.
Today...got the call giving me time to appear for Cortizone shot in my left hip due to a year's long saga of pain that began with sciatica. Hopefully this will bring an end to my stagnation of activity. I miss tennis a lot! What else? Had a great lunch with a former neighbor. "Do you realize that we sat for 2 hours without a break she said as she got back from the bathroom?" Now that is friendship, when you never look at your watch once in two hours! Her friendship is a pearl to be treasured. The other gift was realizing after getting up that my hip and knee didn't hurt like it has been. The pain so depends on the chair. Another gift today was the Reiki (energy work) and head/back massage that I got from a loving nurse/nun/masseuse near by. I treat myself every month to this time of relaxation. The room is darkened, soothing music, an inviting warm bed and no conversation. What a luxury! I seem to float out of there every month. I finished the afternoon by reading some more of THE POPE'S WAR, by Matthew Fox, a theologian who was silenced in 1988 by the former cardinal/now Pope Benedict. It is the recent history of the 80 some men and women (listed in the back of the book) who were silenced for their creation/liberation theology and other beliefs that the hierarchy doesn't like. Most informative and encouraging to read about the stories of people who stand up for what they believe in the church regardless of the powers that be. I have a tendency to just get angry! They continued to fight for what they believe in. Inspiring! That's it for today. Blessings to you all. mjk
Mary, our 10 year old granddaughter called and said that she read my blog about "humor" the duplicate blender. I told her she ought to blog. She said I have nothing to blog about and I heard her dad in the background say...what about your girl scout meeting today. So Mary said first she wanted to respond to my message and then maybe tomorrow after she gets her homework done she will set up a site with her dad's help. Maybe we can have a gramdfather Jane/ grandson Mary blog conversation. Get it Mary? She and her brother called the other night and got confused in saying goodnight to us and we all got a great laugh out of it.
Today...got the call giving me time to appear for Cortizone shot in my left hip due to a year's long saga of pain that began with sciatica. Hopefully this will bring an end to my stagnation of activity. I miss tennis a lot! What else? Had a great lunch with a former neighbor. "Do you realize that we sat for 2 hours without a break she said as she got back from the bathroom?" Now that is friendship, when you never look at your watch once in two hours! Her friendship is a pearl to be treasured. The other gift was realizing after getting up that my hip and knee didn't hurt like it has been. The pain so depends on the chair. Another gift today was the Reiki (energy work) and head/back massage that I got from a loving nurse/nun/masseuse near by. I treat myself every month to this time of relaxation. The room is darkened, soothing music, an inviting warm bed and no conversation. What a luxury! I seem to float out of there every month. I finished the afternoon by reading some more of THE POPE'S WAR, by Matthew Fox, a theologian who was silenced in 1988 by the former cardinal/now Pope Benedict. It is the recent history of the 80 some men and women (listed in the back of the book) who were silenced for their creation/liberation theology and other beliefs that the hierarchy doesn't like. Most informative and encouraging to read about the stories of people who stand up for what they believe in the church regardless of the powers that be. I have a tendency to just get angry! They continued to fight for what they believe in. Inspiring! That's it for today. Blessings to you all. mjk
Monday, January 7, 2013
testing
Hi Barbara, I am testing out my blog sharing. Not sure how this works. I sent you one earlier by I hope email. now let me know if you got that and this. thanks. jane
Life with humor
Life and it's humor.
I was going to make a smoothie the other night. After checking whether I had all the ingredients, I went into the cabinet to get down the blender. Not there! In the back of my mind I remembered that I toyed with the idea of giving it away. Not sure that I had, I looked in several other cabinets and didn't find it. Darn it! I had to settle for having yogurt with a cut up mango, not quite as delicious as the blueberries, banana's, mango's, vanilla and ginger that I heard was a healthy ingredient.
As I was eating my yogurt I asked my husband to help me remember to get a new blender the next time we were out. I had priced them during the holidays and was overwhelmed with all the choices. Life was so much simpler years ago.
While we were out shopping yesterday, replacing an 8"frying pan that was suppose to be stick-free, Don asked me if I wanted to look at blenders. Bless his heart and memory! Before we let our helpful salesman leave I asked him if he had any opinions on blenders. "Sure. Follow me, they are right over here." He pointed out two particular ones mentioning their benefits and asked what we wanted it for.
We decided on the cheaper Oster that he recommended. As we left he asked me why I got rid of it. "It was 40 years old...plus the white base had turned yellow. Who wants a yellowed appliance on their lovely kitchen counter...okay the counter is seven years old but looks like new.
Today I took the blender out of the box, washed it and placed the beautiful stainless steel base with the glass top on our white, brown, black speckled counter. It looked lovely. Don came home, put the banana's on the banana hanger (another modern treat to myself three years ago). He turned to me and asked, "I thought you said you threw out the blender." "I did!" "Well, what is this?" I looked to the counter and couldn't believe my eyes. On the counter was the sparkling new blender, the banana hanger and next to the banana's was the old yellowed blender. I was flabbergasted! Talk about people seeing what they want to see or getting use to items. I laughed and laughed. I still have a hard time believing that it was sitting one item away from the sparkling new blender.
The yellowed blender now has a new home in the bag of donation items. Life is so full of fun when I allow myself to see the humor. mjk
I was going to make a smoothie the other night. After checking whether I had all the ingredients, I went into the cabinet to get down the blender. Not there! In the back of my mind I remembered that I toyed with the idea of giving it away. Not sure that I had, I looked in several other cabinets and didn't find it. Darn it! I had to settle for having yogurt with a cut up mango, not quite as delicious as the blueberries, banana's, mango's, vanilla and ginger that I heard was a healthy ingredient.
As I was eating my yogurt I asked my husband to help me remember to get a new blender the next time we were out. I had priced them during the holidays and was overwhelmed with all the choices. Life was so much simpler years ago.
While we were out shopping yesterday, replacing an 8"frying pan that was suppose to be stick-free, Don asked me if I wanted to look at blenders. Bless his heart and memory! Before we let our helpful salesman leave I asked him if he had any opinions on blenders. "Sure. Follow me, they are right over here." He pointed out two particular ones mentioning their benefits and asked what we wanted it for.
We decided on the cheaper Oster that he recommended. As we left he asked me why I got rid of it. "It was 40 years old...plus the white base had turned yellow. Who wants a yellowed appliance on their lovely kitchen counter...okay the counter is seven years old but looks like new.
Today I took the blender out of the box, washed it and placed the beautiful stainless steel base with the glass top on our white, brown, black speckled counter. It looked lovely. Don came home, put the banana's on the banana hanger (another modern treat to myself three years ago). He turned to me and asked, "I thought you said you threw out the blender." "I did!" "Well, what is this?" I looked to the counter and couldn't believe my eyes. On the counter was the sparkling new blender, the banana hanger and next to the banana's was the old yellowed blender. I was flabbergasted! Talk about people seeing what they want to see or getting use to items. I laughed and laughed. I still have a hard time believing that it was sitting one item away from the sparkling new blender.
The yellowed blender now has a new home in the bag of donation items. Life is so full of fun when I allow myself to see the humor. mjk
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)